blocked

and the jinx continues, this is not me who is claiming this but a lot of people who have been observing me over the last 6 months. need to break this jinx. anyways :

Friends- People you meet often, but they are still not integral part of ur life..

Gr8 friends - People who are meant to be around whenever you need them..

in all probability these concepts are wrong,people disprove this all the time - irrespective of their claims --

-- eliminate all those who weren't a part of ur script during those 'dark days'..

blocked

and the jinx continues, this is not me who is claiming this but a lot of people who have been observing me over the last 6 months. need to break this jinx. anyways :

Friends- People you meet often, but they are still not integral part of ur life..

Gr8 friends - People who are meant to be around whenever you need them..

in all probability these concepts are wrong,people disprove this all the time - irrespective of their claims --

-- eliminate all those who weren't a part of ur script during those 'dark days'..

Friendship - Non Existent

The concept of friendship is definitely flawed.. U can have thousands around you.. but none to fall back upon. Life at 4 am can reveal a lot of things and it did to me. I realized over sometime now that at the end of the day,I absoutely have none to share my thoughs. I'm like a volcano who wants to erupt but for wot/whom/where? well there is no point anymore.. Friends claim to b a part of both ur good & bad times but the truth is they only associate with your good times,during your bad times they cant help.Bad times- can generate 3 kinda of friends :

1.Type 1 - Act that he/she felt bad that you are in problems,wud try to console you for not more than 10 mins,wud throw sad emoticon smileys at max ,I guess even if they are informed that you are dead these friends wud only feel bad for just 10 mins.

2. Type 2- I have problems too,( this kind of friend sucks! The essence was to share here.. not to compare..)

3. Type 3- Makes u feel that ur problems are not problems.. and u r whining..

Other angles to this story is

when ur friends are in good times,they may decide to forget you (subconsciously), ur a taken for 'granted commodity'..

When your friends are in bad times and decide not to tell u.consider yourself a bad friend too.

Well I use to confide to few select friends in my life, but by now I know that they are bored too.. and the rest of the world thinks

that I have no problems and I can solve all problems if any.To all of u : 'Middlefinger is wot u deserve.I'm not even going to reveal my definition

of friendship cuz I always get it wrong.

Ur definition of 'friends' whether u accept or not is simple and is as below :

"I have gr8 friends..but I have new friends who are equally gr8 .. Ofcourse I love my old friends but then I dont have enuf time for them.. I cant

seem to b coming out of my new world.."

By this time the Old world may have decayed, I type this at a time when I needed friends the most..but now I have realized that I dont want any, and I know I'm going to walk alone for a long long time..

I guess after 25 yrs,I have finally decided not to quesiton the reasons why a person wud become a drug addict.. I kinda get it now.. though I wud personally never resort to such practices but I probably get the essence by now.

I wonder as to why I even need a phone anymore,to talk to my momentary friends-campus is not that big .. I can communicate with them anytime..for the rest,it is immaterial.Wearing my dark shades and moving to a new phase in life..(Walk alone is the new mantra).

Another to the list..

Well I dont know if I would be able to ever fulfill everything on my list, but I definitely added another thing to my list yesterday-A piano. I want to it at my home by the time I'm 60. I should be able to play it whenever I want to in silence,solace. I really feel I would strike peace when I would play it then.

For the short term, I may be buying a drum kit after a couple of months into work .Infact it was my mom's idea. Dad still has his violin,Mom has her veena, Sis's keyboard still exists, time for me to possess my own drums.

Screwed yet again

Oct 14 2010 was a confusing day for me this yr, This day has been an important day always but this time something weird happened .I generally pick the phone every yr ar 12.30 pm (ist), but coincidently this time I got a masg at 12.30 it read - " Sorry dude you dint get the offer from Cognizant " .

I dint know wot to make out of this cuz I have never been able to decipher my summers. It looked a gr8 long term prospect,travelling, 5 star hotels, golf,audi (which my mentor possesed) etc but looked hollow from within . 4 people got offers out of 53 of us. My mentors & team called me up to find out if I did get the offer and to their shock I had to tell them that I dint.
The 4 offers went to IIM-A,C ,L, Xl. The rest B,I,K,fms,iift,nitie,mdi all bit the dust.
In the end, the one yr long relationship came to an end. I thank cognizant for bestowing the title of highest slotted, paid internship in campus on me & now back to square zero-the 'dog fight' is wot I call it . The bone is thrown on the road & 150 of them would pounce on it this december . I kinda feel excited to the new opportunities I might be able to explore this december only that the competition is a little too much this time. The offer from cognizant would have closed the curtains on these opportunities.Destiny is taking me there,I can now almost feel it . All this is defintely happening for a reason.For now I'm a comman man again .

All these thoughts played in my mind in those 2 mins and 12.32 pm I was back on the phone trying to wish someone who was much more important than Cognizant.

Screwed

Well just sometime back I had put an update about Singapura & how it enriched me.. 30 mins after that.. I got screwed.. after 2 months of 'khoon bahana' ..I realized wot it meant to put effort & fail. twice in one day.I defntly can conclude that I'm much better off without the efforts.. when no efforts I get rewards. God defntly doesnt want me to strain myself much..

Anyways today goes down as a bad day in my record books.. as they say 'shit happens'..only thing is my lost sleep cant come back. it was my brainchild,will have to sell it to someone else. Everybody thought we'd make it.. except the one who dint think so.

Back to Square zero.

Singapura ...rewind

When was the last time that I was mesmirzed.Long back.. This time I wasnt mesmirized by the airports,buildings,the roads,the cleaniness etc. I could very clearly see a transition in myself, now when I look back on those 2 weeks at Singapore ,I realized that the finer things in life gave me more pleasure.

To see people moving on the streets carefree .. Restaurents running full house at 3am in the mornings, lady cab drivers who boldly take up night shifts in Singapore carrying drunk people who are least aware of their destinations = Respect .Nightclubs,dancebars,pubs anything.. u name it and people maintained minimum discipline.. & the best on friday nights.. people partied like it was diwali every week ! I sometimes just feel sad for us Indians.. most of us havent seen the brighter part of life. Life is just not about excelling in whatever you do.Its not about coming first from kindergarten to your post graduation.Hence I never topped :P .You need to find pleasure in finer things in life. You need to unwind at Starbucks on a weekend for a couple of hours,You need to hit the F1 track sometimes,You need to be like the Singapore I bankers - who work their ass of till 8 pm and then head for a beer on the 63rd floor,& in contrast our typical I banker would have to catch the last local train at 1.40 am,and hit the bed with the thought that 2mrw would be equally worse.Life does look different from the 63rd floor especially when you could see three countries at the same time.

I met my millionere Alums (70 in total) in Singapore. I was surprised to know some of these guys actually own private sea facing bunglows in Singapore.They are amongst the richest there.So life aint that bad.. Gives me confidence that I would atleast find an apartment to live in.. if not anything else :)

I crashed into my 12th std friend by mistake.We prepared for IIT together..infact we spent a lot of time in various classes together ..Well meeting someone by mistake after 7 yrs only to learn that he passed out from IIM B ,is a Ibanker at RBS Singapore, and has also got his fiancee a job in Singapore.Awesome.. !

Genting may not be vegas but definetly it is Asia's vegas. Totally appreciate it.. Yes this time my vegas experience paid off..I won quite a bit at the Casinos.I just realized it aint bad to even be a taxi driver in such countries where people look for quality of life & not measure success in life by your visiting card.Petronas towers was simply superb.Kuala Lumpur is 50 yrs ahead of India currently & the shopping never ends. Girls could simply go mad in that place .Malls with awesome clothes with things like - Pick anything for 25 ringets...! ur kiddin me..!1 ringet is just about 15 bucks..

I have defntly lost a couple of things in the last 6 months, I wish I could get them back,How much ever badly I want them back,they are just not coming back.Somethings just dont click.But this trip has enriched me in more than one ways.

Reverse Bungee,Tiger,across the lake,Indian Embassy,Ports,Industries,Millionere Alums ,Chinese Sardar,CBD,Russians,Wine,Starbucks,Casinos,Nightclubs,Night safari,Raffles place,63rd floor,Duck,Mustafa,Thai food ,Petronas towers& lot more..

I just learnt that my next destination may be dubai soon..looking forward to it!

This is it ..

This is it.. This is where the realization had begun .. ! It was just those names in the air that differed then ..the Airport.. the place.. the feelings remain the same.Last time I couldnt go out of the airport,this time I did not want to go out of the airport,I wanted to take the next flight.I wanted to turn the clock back & celebrate those 60 days again & relive the 1.5 yrs after that.

The eternal Dosti..

Another Friendship day !

It may sound like yet another friendship day..but this is to thank each one of u.. There aint a single day when I dont remember the most important people in my life.. absolutely no day !Wherever u all are.. wot matters is.. u are still special to me.. and i really hope we'd all spend time like we did in our prime time.. it will happen.. my extra sense has never failed me..U may not even know today that I have a broken healing leg.. but i know u'd always wish the best for me.. I'd hopefully play from 2mrw :)

Last but not the least.. Its been an year here.. and i like 'em all.. !awesomeness...=iift....

Happy B'day Sachin

The only people who have remained constant in my life over the last 20 years are my parents,sister & Sachin ! as one of my friends puts it " jabse hosh sambhala bas sachin ka hi naam suna hai"..its been 20 years .. Everytime this man plays I watch with the same enthusiasm as I might have watched him bat for the first time..Bunked school..screwed exams..got up early mornings..to watch him bat in in Newzealand.. Australia.. stayed up late nights to watch him bat in the Caribbean..and been to the stadium twice to watch him score centuries...!.next year world cup 2011.. I'd be there in the stadium to cheer for him..! I wonder what it would be like when he retires..!anyways for now I hope he wins the ipl.. ! Happy b'day Sachin !

They are all busy

This post is more on a lighter note a research work - a general observation which I have made over time.. over lots of people and not just one or two individuals. Probably a combination of Psychology & Technology...Here is how it starts..

Long ago, in 2004 when I use to login to gtalk,my friend list use to be empty and little did explore the world of gtalk.But over the last 3-4 yrs gtalk has caught up like crazy, u can virtually be online the whole day and can definitely talk to all the people u have talked to atleast once in ur life. But there is a small catch here, over the last 3-4 yrs people have become exceedingly busy ,probably the work load in the world has increased over this span of time but surprisingly I dont feel it that much . Here is small e.g of a conversation (ficitious but close to true)

you : Hi wassup ... 10.00 pm

me : Hey !! long time.. i'm good . how u ..?10.01 pm

you : fyne .. 10.20( after 20 mins)

me : ok.. where ru located these days 10.22

you : USA.. 10.30 ( the most common reply - shud have guessed :D)

me : cool.. ( even I start using monosyllables by now ) 10.31

me : so hows life been there. .. ? 10.40

you : nothing much.. 10.58

me : ru busy ? 11.00

you : hmmm 11.15

Now this is just a small example of the kinda conversations I have on gtalk these days . The question is why the f*@# do u ping when ur busy ? U ask any individual and he/she would talk of their busy schedules for the rest of their lives.. Some of the quotes which I can remember justifying their busy days..

I have gotta a meeting coming up ( Yea yea we all know you gotta meeting with the Prime minister.. )

My client is different,they'd go mad if I dont deliver (yea baby.. This is a secret which You need to know- All the IT freaks in India give the same statement.. :D )

I have a presentation,assignment and 2 tests tomorrow ! damn shit loads of work ! (oops its the first time someones encountering such a big problem,my sympathies with u )

I have a fest which I'm organizing ... ( wow !you are the showstealer.. ! indispensable I know .. ! The fest would stop if u wud talk to any non entity on gtalk :D)

Again these were just a few of the comments I hear from people regularly..I use to always believe in 100% commitment when I'm talking to someone,it does not mean you stop all ur other work and chat,but there definitely is an art to make the other person feel that you are talking to him/her while you can parallely manage all ur work or other chat windows ( some people prioritize their chat windows - funny ).Ofcourse for the last 4-6 months I guess even I have stopped all this.. As they say - In rome,be a roman..

I 'm not sure if being busy is a measure of prosperity but it certainly is a must these days, now that I'm going through a MBA life, I can definitely vouch for the fact that life aint that busy as most of the MBA grads will tell u . Not that my institute is lax about anything.. the only difference being I dont talk about it .. cuz I do feel there is enough time for everything,I know of some who were constantly busy throughout the 2 yrs of MBA and would only talk in monosyllables or one liners.An MBA from any part of the country or the world cant be drastically different.Lectures,Presentations,Assignments,Teammeetings,Groupwork,video shooting on streets,surveys,skits,Exams,Quizzes,Vivas,Fests,symposiums,sponsorships,Elections ,Sports ,Parties,Outings,Hostel and people label this as busy schedules.. Yes,I'm a narcissist ,I believe in my abilities more than anyone else does, but its hard to accept that I could be so much more efficient than most of these other great souls who themselves are part of elite institutions. There could be one implication :

a. people give more than 200% in their MBAs and I'm just giving 50% which is not true.. i'm giving a 100%, probably I dont see the need for doing 200% (its shear waste)

Whatever it is ,I cant demystify as to why people have been so busy over the last couple of yrs, I prefer the old days when a friend called up once in 2-3 months to talk about his whereabouts and stuff.. rather than the 1 liners on gtalk,though I have adapted to their style of talkin in 1 liners , I dont enjoy it much & will continue with it only till I really get 'busy' or can find the reason as to why they are all busy :)

Poetry

Trying my hands @ Poetry after a long gap.. it took me 45 mins to come up with this last night,!!yes I just loved composing poems @ one point of time...Thanking Mrs Cathey,Mrs Hanah,Mrs David,Mrs Nalini & Mrs Arahana who made me simply love English Literature.. I hope I have done some justice.. to their efforts ..whether good or bad. I'm satisfied .. !

Tranquility sings in reminiscence ,

to resurrect the soul,that riped,

Those clustered cells dont sing

like they did, years ago.

The chords dont strike nomore,

They take cues from far & cry,

To the vocalist of destiny,

I'm the Mozart of no sly.

Extinguished voice,to all,

The rhythm plays to none,

A sound that one day,

will trickle down elsewhere

Sounds not one ,seldom understand,

they shrivel,and stay,

Music it is, they think to their ears,

Only to know the Mozart's last tears.

Thanks,

Vinay